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Meet my dedication, inspiration: I literally just want a list of all of the similes Simon Cowell has ever said, so I can just die laughing for 24 hours...

keepcalmandlovegaga:

“You actually sing like a train going off the rails.”
“It was a bit like watching a ship sink, that audition.”
“That sounded like Stevie Wonder with a really bad cold.”
“You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.”
“You sounded like Cher after she’s been to the dentist.”
“You…

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via Keep Calm and Love Gaga
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